Thursday, May 24, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
NPR and a free education nearly every day for this blogger
I'd rather listen to NPR than do anything else. And it's not just for the politics, I like the cultural programs as well. I learned from NPR that Johnny Appleseed existed, but he was not at all who they told us he was when we were kiddos. I learned that before 1900 apples were bitter and that the only use for apples was to make hard cider. In other words, Johnny Appleseed walked through the midwest with some crazy pot on his head spreading the gift of alcohol to the locals. Which may explain the headware. He was the Timothy Leary of his day, you might say.
In that same program I learned that General Foods offered a $50,000 award to anyone who could produce a sweet apple and get it before a panel of judges at the 1900 World's Fair in Chicago. Well a fellow did, and of course he was from Wisconsin and was already an apple grower. But he, like every other soul who had previously grown an apple on earth, or didn't, only had sour bitter apples too. But he had an orchard, there in the Badger State, and in this orchard was this little pain-in-the-ass tree which kept coming up between his orderly rows. He tried to kill it several times yet each spring it defeated both his and the winter's effort to make it conform.
So he gave up and just plowed around the sucker. Not surprisingly, once everything around the tree stopped trying to kill it, the tree decided to do what fruit trees do, and produced fruit. It was a sweet apple and off to Chicago and a big reward went the farmer. He won of course, having the only entry that didn't make the judges pucker. History does not record what he did with the money, but it does record what the new owners of that tree did. They spliced cuttings of it onto established trunks of those old, shriveled up bitter, alcoholic trees that one might still encounter at VFW and Elks lodges throughout this great nation of ours.
Did you know that of anyone alive today, who can read this blog, not one of you have never eaten an apple, or tasted applesause, or apple pie, or an apple fritter, or apple (okay I'll stop) that isn't a product of that first grafting from that one single tree?
Now where could a guy driving from Plain City, Utah to Boise, Idaho for the purpose of talking into a microphone about 66 badly-bred horses for a paycheck of $500 dollars learn a great story like that, all for free, and impressing his passenger all the way? NPR that's where.
It's always way down at the left end of your dial, and when the signal starts to fuzz out on you between cities, just hang in there. Wherever there is a college, there is someone playing NPR, even on Sundays. Even in Idaho. Even in Kansas. It's never higher than 90.9 and it's never lower than 87.5. And it's always free and it's always grand.
In that same program I learned that General Foods offered a $50,000 award to anyone who could produce a sweet apple and get it before a panel of judges at the 1900 World's Fair in Chicago. Well a fellow did, and of course he was from Wisconsin and was already an apple grower. But he, like every other soul who had previously grown an apple on earth, or didn't, only had sour bitter apples too. But he had an orchard, there in the Badger State, and in this orchard was this little pain-in-the-ass tree which kept coming up between his orderly rows. He tried to kill it several times yet each spring it defeated both his and the winter's effort to make it conform.
So he gave up and just plowed around the sucker. Not surprisingly, once everything around the tree stopped trying to kill it, the tree decided to do what fruit trees do, and produced fruit. It was a sweet apple and off to Chicago and a big reward went the farmer. He won of course, having the only entry that didn't make the judges pucker. History does not record what he did with the money, but it does record what the new owners of that tree did. They spliced cuttings of it onto established trunks of those old, shriveled up bitter, alcoholic trees that one might still encounter at VFW and Elks lodges throughout this great nation of ours.
Did you know that of anyone alive today, who can read this blog, not one of you have never eaten an apple, or tasted applesause, or apple pie, or an apple fritter, or apple (okay I'll stop) that isn't a product of that first grafting from that one single tree?
Now where could a guy driving from Plain City, Utah to Boise, Idaho for the purpose of talking into a microphone about 66 badly-bred horses for a paycheck of $500 dollars learn a great story like that, all for free, and impressing his passenger all the way? NPR that's where.
It's always way down at the left end of your dial, and when the signal starts to fuzz out on you between cities, just hang in there. Wherever there is a college, there is someone playing NPR, even on Sundays. Even in Idaho. Even in Kansas. It's never higher than 90.9 and it's never lower than 87.5. And it's always free and it's always grand.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Does Mitt Romney seem peculiar to you? Allow me to explain a few things...
I live in Utah and while no longer a mormon myself, I know these people. They were my teachers and coaches. They were my neighbors. They have been my employers and my co-workers. Some are family, some are friends.
Every one of them is exactly the same in certain, very important aspects. They worship wealth. They obey authority without question or reflection. They are the most image-conscious individuals you will ever encounter. They are very defensive about not just their religion but their culture. They are happiest when they feel persecuted. They think the world loves and respects them, so when mormons encounter situations which contradict this, they play the persecution card. They crave acceptance. They will do almost anything to gain a convert to their church, and even more to retain a member. They are tyrannical when in the majority. They always want to be in charge.
So Mitt. The ultimate 21st century mormon man. Does he seem a little robotic? Realize he has never had to develop any type of personality at all, save that which is required to schmooze fellow vulture capitalists and order the serfs about. Does he come across as willing to say anything to gain acceptance? See above. Does he strike you as detached from anyone-other-than-rich-whites? Well, he is. Like all of us, Mitt Romney is merely a product of his environment. And his environment was one of privilege and adoration by his almost-identical peers.
I have often wondered why Mitt Romney wants to be the President. He's never actually said why. The closest I've heard anybody come to explaining his vision of why he has been campaigning for seven long years was his wife Anne's blurted statement that "It's our turn!"
Entitled much? Well they are. Romney is the worst kind of mormon, the second generation rich kind. Born on third base, he waits 30 years at expensive prep schools, BYU and Harvard to finally cross home plate, then takes credit for the whole ball game. Mostly, he just had to keep his haircut short and never miss a dentist appointment. If he surrounds himself with other mormons and wealth worshiping sycophants, he will emerge convinced of his inevitability. Which he did.
Does it seem like he lies easily? Understand that in his mind he's not lying. Understand the man avoided fighting in Vietnam by flying to Paris and teaching French peasants that Joseph Smith found golden plates in a cavern in upstate New York in 1836, translated the symbols on those plates by stuffing his face in a hat and then gave the plates back to an angel who whisked them away into the sky. If you can buy that, if you can attempt to sell that, then saying you created 100,000 jobs at Bain Capital is as easy as blaming your late return home on traffic. You have to understand, the man has never been called to account on what he says in his entire life.
Truth be told, I'm tickled to death that Romney appears to be the GOP nominee. I'm happy that fundies and southern evangelicals will be forced to support (however tepidly) his candidacy. I look forward to the white-hot glare of the media spotlight on his cult's doctrines and practices. I relish the thought that the nation will reject him and that the mormons will crawl back out of the spotlight for at least another generation.
Every one of them is exactly the same in certain, very important aspects. They worship wealth. They obey authority without question or reflection. They are the most image-conscious individuals you will ever encounter. They are very defensive about not just their religion but their culture. They are happiest when they feel persecuted. They think the world loves and respects them, so when mormons encounter situations which contradict this, they play the persecution card. They crave acceptance. They will do almost anything to gain a convert to their church, and even more to retain a member. They are tyrannical when in the majority. They always want to be in charge.
So Mitt. The ultimate 21st century mormon man. Does he seem a little robotic? Realize he has never had to develop any type of personality at all, save that which is required to schmooze fellow vulture capitalists and order the serfs about. Does he come across as willing to say anything to gain acceptance? See above. Does he strike you as detached from anyone-other-than-rich-whites? Well, he is. Like all of us, Mitt Romney is merely a product of his environment. And his environment was one of privilege and adoration by his almost-identical peers.
I have often wondered why Mitt Romney wants to be the President. He's never actually said why. The closest I've heard anybody come to explaining his vision of why he has been campaigning for seven long years was his wife Anne's blurted statement that "It's our turn!"
Entitled much? Well they are. Romney is the worst kind of mormon, the second generation rich kind. Born on third base, he waits 30 years at expensive prep schools, BYU and Harvard to finally cross home plate, then takes credit for the whole ball game. Mostly, he just had to keep his haircut short and never miss a dentist appointment. If he surrounds himself with other mormons and wealth worshiping sycophants, he will emerge convinced of his inevitability. Which he did.
Does it seem like he lies easily? Understand that in his mind he's not lying. Understand the man avoided fighting in Vietnam by flying to Paris and teaching French peasants that Joseph Smith found golden plates in a cavern in upstate New York in 1836, translated the symbols on those plates by stuffing his face in a hat and then gave the plates back to an angel who whisked them away into the sky. If you can buy that, if you can attempt to sell that, then saying you created 100,000 jobs at Bain Capital is as easy as blaming your late return home on traffic. You have to understand, the man has never been called to account on what he says in his entire life.
Truth be told, I'm tickled to death that Romney appears to be the GOP nominee. I'm happy that fundies and southern evangelicals will be forced to support (however tepidly) his candidacy. I look forward to the white-hot glare of the media spotlight on his cult's doctrines and practices. I relish the thought that the nation will reject him and that the mormons will crawl back out of the spotlight for at least another generation.
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